The blog days of summer

When I think of how many summers I suffered because I was uncomfortable showing my body in a bathing suit, it makes me want to hit myself in the face hard enough to leave a red mark.

Matt and I just got back from Cancun and it was delightful. I was the whitest girl there. I sort of glowed, I was so white. I was so white I wonder if some people thought I was an angel. I was not the chubbiest girl there but I would venture to say I was the most aware of my chubbiness of all the girls there. Keep in mind many of those gals were not from the U.S. of A. Still, all the gals walked around like cocks of the walk. No one put a skirt on every time she walked to the bar or made sure she didn’t get her hair wet until a few minutes before she was ready to pack it in for the day. I did meet a couple of other gals who wore makeup to the pool and the ocean because they knew there were going to be pictures taken, but those were other American chicks. The Mexican gals and British and Irish and German and Spanish … those gals let it ALL hang out and they walked and stood and sat as if they thought they were the shit. And … they kinda were BECAUSE of that attitude.

In the past Matt and I would actually drive MILES out of the way to find a stretch of beach with no other people so I could frolic without feeling self-conscious. Growing up I lived in a town that was built around a lake. How often do you think I donned a bathing suit and took advantage of the water? A lot cuz there was nothing else to do in that Podunk little town … but VERY LITTLE in comparison to the other gals and never without wishing every second of the afternoon that it were over so I could put clothes back on.

I have missed out on a lot of livin’ because of my slavery to my insecurity. I never learned how to water ski. I never learned how to swim very well. I snorkled for the FIRST TIME EVER in Cancun. That is some cool shit, that snorkeling business. I mean … I missed out on a lot of stuff. I’m done doing that. How ‘bout you? Don’t you think it’s time to nip that shit in the bud?