A blog doesn't know from self hatred

Okay so that MonaVie is also strangely filling. I have been mixing it with Squirt and I occasionally toss in an ounce of Vodka upon the saleswoman's orders and ... it's filling. I mean, i also just drink it by itself and it helps fill me up that way also but ... with the soda added ... it's shocking how filling it can be. I'm just putting it out there.

Now I'm going to Vegas for Thanksgiving so i won't be writing again until the Monday after Thanksgiving. Can you make it through without me? I'm gonna bet you can. Here are a couple of things to think about over the holiday of giving thanks by eating and eating until you have lost all feeling in the lower quadrant of your body:

1) Turkey is already a low calorie fowl. I am not sure how yours is prepared because when you add butter and oils and stuff it gets less low cal, but if you eat the white meat it's mostly a low cal deal already so you don't have to feel badly about eating it. In fact, if you wanna fill up on that and veggies you'd be stylin' and profilin'.

2) Potatoes? I would suggest those caulitatoes that you can find on PaulaLeen.com. It's basically ONE li'l ole potato and a whole bunch of cauliflower that has been boiled and mashed or pureed with some light sour cream, some fat free milk, some minced garlic and salt and pepper. I'm here to tell you that you WON'T know the diff and you will cut your calories by a gazillion and add fiber and eat potatoes all guilt free and all. What's THAT worth to you?

3) Try to stay away from or take a SMALL portion of stuffing. OR ... make that the dish YOU bring and then make it with whole grain croutons (you will probably have to toast them yourself) and low fat stuff like Smart Balance instead of butter and fat free chicken broth and then add lost of stuff like celery and onion and mushroom and maybe ... raisins or something. Here's a pretty good recipe I found online:

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Sonyas-Special-Turkey-Stuffing/Detail.aspx

4) Fill your plate up with WHATEVER vegetables are available at your table.

5) There are TONS of great low cal and/or low fat dessert recipes online. I'm ALL about substituting so you can get a sweet treat and feel like you are partaking in the festivities without being consumed with self hate and regret the following day or ... moments later. Just me? Okay. That's cool.

I hope that helps. Oh and ... stay away from Marie Calendar's pies. I crap you NOT! those freakin' pies are the highest calorie pies of any I can find, even including frozen Sara Lee pies and stuff. They are ... very tasty but ... not tasty enough for them to be HUNDREDS of calories per slice. There's a VERY good Apple Brown Betty recipe on the website if you are looking for a low cal dessert. Just don't trust Marie. She's sneaky. She's the kinda gal who borrows your favorite blouse and keeps "forgetting" to return it. She's the kind of gal who flirts with your fella and tells you HE hit on her. She's the kind of gal who runs and tells your girlfriend who's NOT invited to the exclusive Christmas party, the one you asked her NOT to tell about the exclusive Christmas party, that she wasn't invited and causes you to lose a friend who you would have rather have had for ... well, at least until after the holidays. Don't trust Marie C.

A workin' blog

Busy, busy, busy. I'm gonna spit one out for ya, though. 'Cuz I'm a giver.

Just ordered two more cases of MonaVie for my honey and me. That rhymes. Matt said he really felt a difference in his energy levels and what I think I like the most is that I don't have to worry about him getting his allotted veggie count for the day. I KNOW if he drinks this stuff that he will be getting plenty of fiber and vitamins and minerals and stuff. After three months on this miracle juice, we're gonna go get our numbers checked and see if it has made a diff. I'll keep you informed.

I DID get on the treadmill on Friday. I didn't get on it again since because I've been busy or tired or lazy. And NO i didn't start the muscle building thing yet. Boy ... that thing is really eluding me. But I made you a promise so I will definitely do it. And since this is an "advice" or "insights" sort of blog thing, then I'm gonna tell you that I ABSOLUTELY believe that the muscle building is the answer to my weight woes; my "obese" woes. The research I have done all confirms that muscle burns fat and my observation is also that folks who have muscles have less difficulty with their calories and eating and fat burning and self loving and ... lifting ... things. And who doesn't want that?

I have to run because obese or not, I'm VERY popular.

More tomorrow.

Walk the blog

I think I MAY be or AM the only person on the PLANET who can gain weight when she gets sick. Here's why: When I get sick I sleep. It's about ALL I do. I don't eat. That's the truth. I might have a bowl or soup or two bowls of soup. Not kidding. Nor am I exaggerating. But what happens is that my metabolism slows down SO much that it is almost in a coma. So then no matter what I eat it doesn't burn off. And if I don't eat at all ... my metabolism seems to screech to a halt before hitting a brick wall and I STILL don't lose weight. If I eat ... at all ... even if I just eat a bowl of soup a day I gain weight. I GAIN WEIGHT!

So just before getting sick I had lost a pound. I was THRILLED with having lost a pound. I had been hovering at the same weight for two months so I was really thrilled with a pound. Now ... I'm up from there 2 and a half. Can you believe that crap? Can ... you ... be ... lieve ... it?

Since I'm feeling a little bit better I'm gonna get on the treadmill today for 20 minutes at a slow, regular walk. I have to try to jump start my metabolism and I don't have any other kinda jumper cables. Ya know? If that works then the muscle building plan will begin tomorrow. You think I'm lying because I keep SAYING I'm gonna do muscle building but it never seems to happen. Right? I'VE BEEN SICK! Man. Have you no compassion? I'm gonna do that dreaded muscle building. I will. I don't make empty promises. I just procrastinate and/or get sick. What can ya do?

But seriously. MonaVie, happy thoughts, jump start the metabolism and muscle build. I stand by all that. I stand by it. I'm tired. I need a nap.

Blog hit blog

I hesitate to say it but I think I'm on the mend. I BETTER be. I have barely been out of the apartment for a week and all I seem to do is sleep 24/7. BORING. I need to be done with that. I'm getting out of the house and running errands today so hopefully I won't overdo it.

I stand by the positive thinking slash happy thoughts outlook. I stand by the MonaVie thing. And as soon as I'm well I'm gonna start muscle building like I talked about. Seriously. I don't make empty promises and proclamations. I am gonna do that thing and let you know the results. I will. I mean, listen, I watched Extreme Makeover the other day because it always makes me cry and ... I saw this one about this southern guy from Kingsport, Tennessee (I have relatives there) who had lost 200 pounds in one year. He had done it the hard way. But ... his skin didn't bounce back. Need I say more? Oh man. It was truly difficult to look at and imagine. Now, I don't know why it is that happened because he's young enough for his skin to bounce back. I have a friend who got the gastric bypass at the same age, he had always been VERY big, he lost 180 or something and HIS skin bounced back. So ... I don't know but I suspect that muscle building might have something to do with it. (he also didn't eat enough protein and was somewhat anemic. Sorry vegetarians. YAY protein. I loves me some cheese.) So I'll do it. I'll muscle build and report back. I DON'T WANT TO, but I will.

In the meantime, for those of you who haven't been feeling well and haven't been able to work out, like myself, get off your own backs. I had to and it helped. I mean, I was on my back in BED and on the COUCH ... sleeping. But I had to stop beating myself up about not getting anything done. It doesn't help. Who knew?

Happy blog is a healthy blog

You're gonna think I'm nuts. You will. Cuz I kinda think I'm nuts.

So yesterday I suggested that a good attitude can make you well. So I adjusted. And ding dang it if I didn't feel better. Now ... I woke up feeling all congested and sneezy and all that again, but I think I can apply the same tactics, take some vitamins and some meds and feel better. I THINK that will help.

HOWEVER ... my fella had a similar thing happen and he relapsed. He had to go to the doc this morning. So waking up this morning all messed up again might be the darn cold waking up from it's nap, but I am gonna choose to use the technique of positive thinking and see if it works again today.

I'll let you know.

In the meantime my fella wanted me to mention that the MonaVie has really improved his energy level. Seriously. It has kept him regular which may be too much info but it's a good thing so I'm gonna mention it, and he said he would have had a much more difficult time with this cold had it not been for the MonaVie. I'm just sayin'.

I feel like crap so I need to focus and get happy. I'll check you tomorrow. (happy thoughts, bunnies and puppies, merry go rounds and beaches, foot massages and online shopping, surprise checks in the mail and long vacations, good TV and a comfy couch, pretty dresses and professionally done hair, yummy food and strong cocktails, being able to breathe through my nose and not coughing for a full day ... happy thoughts)

UnderBlog

Still sick. Don't wanna talk about it. Now we are trapped in our apartment because they are painting the front steps. This must be how our hamsters felt. Not that I could leave anyway cuz ... I'm sick. But I'd LIKE to have the option.

So here's what I need to do and the advice I offer for today. I need to change my freakin' attitude. I have a friend named Micah who NEVER gets sick. One thing he does is he takes naps. He is an early riser and gets a lot done, then takes a nap and gets more done after he rises from said nap. That helps him stay well I feel sure. The OTHER thing he does is ... he laughs a LOT (cuz he's a funny dude) and he has an "all things are possible" attitude. I REALLY think that keeps him healthy.

I also have a friend who DOES get sick but NEVER lets it stop her from going and doing. And she has a similar approach. Her approach is just to take her vitamins, medicate and then make like she's not sick and go forth.

So I'm working on being positive in the face of feeling crappy. I'll et you know how it goes, but it's certainly my advice to everyone even if I'm not capable of doing it when I'm sick. I'm not superhuman, ya know!

Sick as a blog two?

Sickity, sickity, sick, sick, sick. I think the key is to be married to someone you do NOT enjoy kissing because then you might be able to avoid getting his germs. I got the germs. And now I'm sicky. It only lasted a few days with Matt which means it should only last a week with me. Right?

Just had my TheraFlu. Gotta go back to bed.

More tomorrow.

Loyal blog

Okay so the hu'ban' is sick which means that before long, I'm probably gonna be sick. Or ... that's how it has happened every time in the past 12 years when he gets sick. (The Secret people would chide me right now for putting that energy out in the world. I'm just playing the odds.) Now, to be clear, when I get sick he doesn't necessarily get sick cuz he's got this nutso constitution that keeps him crazy healthy even though he eats a lot of pizza and chips with pineapple/chipotle salsla. But if HE gets sick, that means the bug or germ is mondo powerful and I do NOT have a strong constitution so ... I get it. And what all of THAT means is that I have to run to the store this morning and stock up on things like soup and crackers and Emergen-C and stuff to get us through this. Oy.

But about MonaVie... If you don't know what it is ... http://whatismonavie.blogspot.com/2006/10/what-makes-mona-vie-so-unique.html. Read that but also read all the other stuff, too. There are always two sides to a story.

Basically it's supposed to be a miracle in a bottle. It's a whole bunch of different fruits and vegetables concentrated into a juice so you can get your daily recommended allowances in a two ounce shot in the morning and another in the evening. The secret ingredient is the Acai berry. It's a Brazilian berry that has been deemed a "super food" because it's a source of protein and healthy fats and vitamins and minerals and it helps the blood circulate (and keeps your arteries clear) by messing with the unsaturated fatty acids. MonaVie also boasts that it will help you lose weight, keep you "regular", rid you of bloat, lower your cholesterol and blood pressure, clear up your skin ... cure the common cold, get rid of gray hair, remove wrinkles, lift your breasts (if you're a woman), make your wang hard longer (if you're a man), cause you to unage, magically make money appear in your bank account and brings about world peace. I'm exaggerating for humor. You knew that, right?

Anyhoo, it has a plummy color and a very thick juice consistency. It tastes tangy. It's VERY fruity with a little bit of a veggie taste thrown in but it's SO much better than V8 so don't worry about that. Plus ... it's two ounces at a shot. Oh, and I add an once of vodka to my night drink since I was told Vodka infuses something or causes the goodness to burst forth in some way. I don't know. The gal said it was cool to do that so that's kinda what sold me.

Matt and I are doing it together and we've polished off a bottle so far. I'll let you know at the end if we see a difference. But please be forewarned that it's EXPENSIVE. I find the money because I have blood pressure and weight issues and Matt has cholesterol levels that hover on the highest possible end of normal. For us it's worth it if it actually works. You would have to decide that yourself. I'm SURE if you bought the equivalent of that many fruits and vegetables for the month it might be comparable, but it's still a bunch to dole out at one time.

MonaVie. It's only one of several products with the Acai berry in it so you MAY be able to find one that's cheaper. But do the research first. We live in the era of information, folks. No reason to believe everything you read or hear. Even if it is me who would NEVER lie to you because there's nothing in it for me. ;-)

Blog chases rabbit

Got another crazy morning, kids. No time. I'm like that neurotic rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. And just about as distracted.

But I'll talk to you tomorrow about this MonaVie that you've been hearing so much about. We're doin' it and I'll give you some initial feedback tomorrow.

Working like a blog

I don't think Curves is for me.

I think this joint is a good idea. It's just for women. It's a small and unimposing kind of place. It's just one room with machines in a circle. And there's a stretching area. Nothing fancy. Nothing daunting. So the way it works is the machines are in a circle and you start on any one of them. You do the machine for 30 seconds and then a pretty voice comes over the loud speaker that says, "Change machines now," or something like that. So you move to the next one and do it for 30 seconds. You go around the circle twice and it's supposed to be about 30 minutes total. But ... the machines don't offer me the work outs my chiropractor says I need and ... I think it would take me a LOOOOONG time to build muscle on those particular machines.

I have to come up with another plan but it's GOT to be cost effective. A personal trainer at 45 - 75 dollars an hour is NOT cost effective. They want you to THINK it is, but it ain't. I want to give them suggestions on pricing options. How do you think they would take to that? Oy.

I'm still on the hunt. Dang it. I'll keep you posted.

It ain't heavy. It's my blog.

Sorry I missed yesterday. I had an audition and I was WORN OUT from a crazy weekend. SO busy and full of girl issues.

Today I go to check out the Curves gym near my house. I'll let you know. I've heard not so much good stuff about it but I have belonged to other gyms and I hated them and never went. So at least I know I wouldn't dread going to this one and I would do it. I have to build muscle, like I said the other day, so I can be ... not obese.

I'm sure I mentioned this but I just want to take this chance to repeat that I DON'T WANNA! I lifted weights in highschool one summer and I lifted weights in college as one of my P.E. requirements (along with tennis and tap), but I didn't like it then and I'm not looking forward to it now. Okay. I'll work on my attitude. While I'm working on my attitude towards lifting weights I'll also work on my attitude towards class. I don't really look forward to either. Class ALWAYS pays off though as I am sure weights will so I need to stow it and get busy.

[heavy sigh]

I can do it. Our attitude about our lives are what make our lives fulfilled. Billi Jean King said that.

The blog too lazy to bark

The gal I check in with tells me the word "obese" has gotten misconstrued. Really? Huh. How so?

Well, so apparently there are several classifications of obesity. You know, like a little bit obese and a little more and a lot and the a lot more, etc. I'm GUESSING that those are the classifications. That's how I would break it down if I were on some sort of classification board or team or whatever. So yesterday when I checked in I found out that after losing 70 pounds and working out every damn day and eating 1400 calories a day, according to my BMI (body mass index) ... oh yes. You know what I'm gonna say, right? Uh huh. Yup. I'm classified as a little bit obese.

I was not pleased. I got ALL UP IN my gal's face. Here's how she talked me down from the ledge. Obese just means "overweight." Okay, well ... I know I'm carrying some extra weight but I'm okay with that if I'm healthy and cute and feel good about me. Basically this "point of obesity" is the point at which you are more at risk of developing high blood pressure and complications from such, high triglycerides, type 2 diabetes and all that stuff. It varies for age, height, body frame and resting metabolic rate and blah blah blah. But here's what I say ... don't tell people they are obese if they work out all the time and eat 1400 calories cuz ... you know what that makes them wanna do. Right? Oh yes. I drank me some wine and ate me some snacks. I did. I SHO' did.

Here's why I didn't put a weapon in my mouth. These danged numbers are guidelines. The number on the scale and the BMI and your resting metabolic rate and your suggested caloric intake and your blood sugar and your blood pressure and on and on. They are ALL parts of a puzzle and no one of them should be taken alone and obsessed upon. The deal with me is that my muscle to fat ratio is causing me to register as obese. So I gotta build some freakin' muscle. I don't wanna. I don't want ... to. But I want to burn fat better and I want to have better bone density given all my chiropractic problems and I want to stay mobile for a very long time. So I'm gonna have to suck it up, change my attitude so I WANT to do it and then ... do it.

DAMMIT!

But I will change my attitude. When I start feeling more comfortable in my bathing suit I'm gonna be really glad to do it. Right? I mean ... right?

I had rather be a blog, and bay the moon

Sorry I missed yesterday. I had a happiness hangover. Well ... I had a happiness and champagne hangover. But I'm not gonna get political.

Right now I'm just stressed because I have to weigh in this morning and the scale is saying there are 16 extra pounds on me. I'm NOT kidding. And this is AFTER the two week moratorium where Matty lost weight and I didn't. What the F? Right?

I'm not sure how I'm gonna address this in my weigh in but something has to give.

I'll let you know what she says and what advice she dispenses.

The tail wags the blog

No time. No time. No time. Gotta get going this morning. Sorry. Gotta go vote. I had nightmares all last night that the clock was running out and I couldn't get to the polls for various reasons and before I knew it the time was gone, and I didn't get to vote. So I actually awoke BEFORE my alarm clock and got up and got going.

I don't care who you are voting for. I mean, I do but more than that I hope you will exercise your right to vote. Especially if you are a woman or a person of color. We fought long and hard to be recognized and to have a voice in this country. I hope you will not squander those efforts.

Vote. Please vote. THEN you can drink.

Recycle blog bones here

Went to my chiro Thursday for my foot. My foot was hurting in the arch a little. Turns out I have a bit of a fallen arch and ... the vertebrae in my neck were stuck causing strain on my back and shoulders. And my middle back was out of alignment. And my pelvis. I mean ... what?! So after 40 minutes of adjustments and silent conversations with my body and my skeleton, I couldn't work out. I'm hoping my weight vest isn't causing any of these problems because I'm not ready to give it up. Won't. Don't tell me to. Not gonna.

I wasn't as hungry as usual on Thursday, but I did still end up eating 1450 calories. That's because I went too long between eating and when I got home from the doc I was all famished and started grabbing things and putting them in my mouth while I was preparing something healthy to eat (left over Spanish Shrimp... that I made the day before. Yep. I made it.). But I swore to count every calorie that went in my mouth so I wrote it all down and by 6 pm, long before dinner, I had already had 715 calories. I was SURE I wasn't gonna get through the day with 1,000 calories so I set my sights on 1200 and put my head down put held my shoulders back like my chiropractor suggested strongly. Didn't make 1200 either.

By the by ... I'm fairly certain Matty has lost weight by doing nothing other than eating healthy. Or ... healthily. Is that a word? I don't know which is correct but you get my meaning. He never stepped on a scale, but I'm gonna say ... 8 pounds. That's the number I played on the weight loss roulette wheel. I didn't lose because of my stupid adrenals that I want to smack really hard and shove into a plaster wall until they start loving me more. Isn't that how you make things love you?

But Oprah made me feel better like she does most days. She had The Biggest Loser folks on that day and some of them were sharing how they have NOT kept the weight off. And ... I know it's only been a couple of years but I've kept all but 12.5 pounds off so far so I'm feeling good. Or I'm CHOOSING to feel good. What I'm NOT doing is saying, "It's only twelve pounds. That's cool." Cuz ... ten pounds is a size and now I can't wear a lot of my clothes so ... it's not cool.

I WANT TO GET FIVE OFF! Dang it. Why can't my body hear my goals and just comply? I mean ... what the h-e-double-toothpicks?