Bottom of the Blog Chain

Feb 14th fast approacheth.

Matt and I put a nix on the booze from Jan 5 thru Feb 14 with booze on the 14th. I wanted to see if my face would look less puffy and Matt did it with me to be supportive. A few things about this:

1) I haven't noticed a change for the better in my face so I think ... that's just my face.
2) Matt has lost about 7 pounds so far. This is important info because it's imperative to realize that we are all different and we cannot judge ourselves and our progress (or lack thereof) by others'. Cuz ... I gained 4 pounds like I told you yesterday. I'm NOT gonna be bitter about it.
3) This is gonna be my Feb advice on the site. Small term goals. If we had said something like ... "For '09 we are only gonna have cocktails on Fridays..." that would NOT have stuck. But setting a small term goal, like not drinking for 5 weeks, and ACHIEVING it ... that feels amazing. It's motivational. You feel good about yourself. You start to realize you can accomplish the things you set out to accomplish.

It's not fun to deny yourself anything but it's EASIER to do if there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You know what I'm saying? It's that ole "one day at a time" thing. I believe in it. I often say, "I'm gonna get on the treadmill for 15 minutes. That's all I am gonna require of myself." And then I make a pouty face. But then I get on and I start setting other little goals. "I'm gonna run for two minutes. I'm gonna walk on the deepest incline for three minutes," etc. And before you know it I've walked fifty minutes to an hour. Oh, I shit you not.

Small term goals. "I'm gonna do this for a week." And then if you do it for a week and it doesn't kill you then you consider whether you wanna do it for another week. Or maybe, one week on and one week off. Whatever works for you to keep you motivated. Cuz, you know how motivated you are whenever you start something new, right? So ... make it always new.

Oh and I said I would talk about Bob Greene. Okay. He said this thing that has really meant something to me after all these times of seeing him. What Oprah would call my "a-ha" moment. He said, "We all seek pleasure. That's what we do, and it's okay. That's not gonna end. It's 'how do you get that pleasure or happiness or joy?' "
That statement has caused me to be aware of what food is providing me when I am eating. And as I become aware of the pleasure it brings me, I am not enjoying it less but I am thinking of what else might give me equal joy. If there is nothing I can think of then I go forward. If there is something that will satisfy that pleasure seeking, then I do that. I haven't lost any weight because I've only been out of bed for three days so BACK OFF! ;-) But I'm gonna keep a close eye on this.

What he said, it sort of ... freed me a little. People LOVE to judge. I am sure I have mentioned this before but my shrink says, "Nobody wants to be the bottom of the food chain." But that statement was leveling for me. We all seek pleasure. Some of us find it in other things like ... shopping or gambling or smoking or slutting around or being a workaholic or a workOUT-aholic or drinking or going to meetings in order to not drink or WHATEVER. But we are all the same in that way. So when I overeat I am (often) seeking pleasure just like everyone else. If I can make a shift and maybe find it somewhere else even SOME of the time, it will make a difference. Or ... we'll see if it makes a difference. It certainly made a difference in my outlook. I felt like I was now allowed to pleasure seek and that seeking it doesn't make me "wrong" or f'd up or whatever. Do NOT tell me if I am mistaken on that point. ;-)